


Subject Matters

by raendown



Series: NaNoWriMo 2020 Drabbles [129]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21539188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raendown/pseuds/raendown
Summary: Madara thinks himself the absolute pinnacle of wit. Others have something different to say.
Relationships: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara
Series: NaNoWriMo 2020 Drabbles [129]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533161
Comments: 19
Kudos: 184





	Subject Matters

“It’s too fucking quiet in here.” Madara tilted his chair back to drop his head against the open window pane, hoping for a nice breeze to drift through the crack. “Someone tell a joke or something before I go insane.”

“We are supposed to be working,” Tobirama muttered from the other side of the room.

Hashirama held up one hand with his mouth open, closed it to think for a moment, and then shook his head. “Yeah, maybe it’s a good idea just to keep working. You’ve never been all that great at telling jokes anyway, Maddy.”

“Don’t call me that! And what do you mean? I’m fucking hilarious.”

“Um…” Suddenly at risk of losing his title of best friend, Hashirama notably refused to meet his eyes, for once in his life returning to the paperwork in front of him without having to be told. Madara narrowed his eyes at the traitor. What an idiot. He was the last person who should be making judgments on good humor.

“I’ll prove it, listen. Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a _hole in one_. Ha!” Madara let his chair rock back down on to all four legs so he could slap his own thigh in amusement. He barked out another quick laugh but stopped when he realized that no one else had so much as moved, Hashirama sitting tense at his desk and Tobirama’s eyes still riveted to the report in front of him. “Oh come on!”

Finally Tobirama sighed and looked up, a tired expression on his face. “You know I love you but jokes are just not your forte.”

“Are too! I’ve got another one. What does a zombie vegetarian eat? Graaaaaiiiiiinnnnssssss. That’s a good one! No? What the hell you guys, these are golden!”

His bastard of a husband rubbed the space between his eyebrows as though fending off a headache. Madara wanted to pretend he could blame it on a long work day but the morning had been completely quiet with an unprecedented lack of emergencies for any of them to see to. Which meant that his most beloved was tired because of _him_ and that was just unacceptable.

“Please stop,” Tobirama begged him.

“Not until you laugh! Okay how about this one: what time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y! Ahahaha! Get it? Because it sounds like two-thirty?” Madara slapped his thigh again.

“Ha. Ha. Ha ha.” In a completely deadpan voice and with no expression whatsoever Tobirama faked a laugh. It was not convincing.

Amusement drained out of him and Madara hunkered back down to his own paperwork with a massive pout, grumbling loud enough to make sure the other two could hear him. Both of them were just mean. Neither would know a good joke if it danced naked in front of them and then bit them on the ass. Sometimes he just felt so unappreciated, unwanted, unneeded. Maybe on his lunch break he should go find Izuna and weasel a few new jokes out of the man; clearly he just needed some fresh material.

The silence lasted for maybe a five minutes before finally Hashirama's natural energy broke through whatever iron restraints he’d been keeping them under.

“Okay now I’ve got one,” he announced unprompted. “Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turns to the other and says ‘Hey, does this taste funny to you?’”

Silence fell for one more heartbeat in which Madara bit down on his lip, determined not to react. Then his jaw fell open at the sound of a muffled snort and all eyes snapped to stare at Tobirama as he clapped a hand over his mouth. It did nothing to hide the reddening of his cheeks or the crinkled around his eyes, the mirth dancing in them.

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Madara exploded. “You laugh at his dumb jokes but not mine!?”

That broke his husband. Tobirama’s hand fell away as he folded himself in half with laughter and Hashirama applauded himself from behind the desk. Madara sneered at the both of them and stood up to storm out of the room, leaving them behind without a word. He didn’t need to be here. He could go somewhere else to do his work. Somewhere his excellent jokes would be properly appreciated.


End file.
